Take a deep breath Clara
by Planet of the Deaf
Summary: Clara is struggling to cope with a snarly, unpleasant Doctor. A face from her past comes back to help her cope. No spoilers for the actual Deep Breath episode, this is my version of early 12/Clara.


**This is a oneshot, completely separate from my multi Clara story The Doctor and The Claras, though borrowing certain elements. It's entirely from my imagination, something I wanted to write before I saw the actual Deep Breath!**

* * *

"No you can't do that!" exclaimed a desperate Clara.

"And says who?" snarled the Doctor back. "Are you my boss now?"

"No, I mean it's wrong?"

"Oh so you're the expert on everything now, and there was me thinking that _I _was the Doctor. Silly me."

"But it's not what you do?"

"Well it is now."

"But my Doctor, no I didn't mean…"

"My Doctor?" interrupted the Doctor sarcastically. "You mean the one with the chin and silly bowties?"

Clara nodded her head ever so slightly.

"LISTEN…HE DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE! Clara, you out of all the people who've travelled with me should be aware of the process of regeneration. Evidently I over estimated you."

"But how can you change so much?"

"A lot of _buts_ today Clara. For an English teacher, you really should have a better vocabulary."

Clara angrily punched him in the arm.

"Am I meant to be impressed by that? For your information, I am the same man, but different. The last version of me may have had a slight obsession with you, and let you boss me around, but let me make this clear young lady, _I'm in charge from now on!_"

"Oh god" Clara whimpered.

"Yes I've been called that" the Doctor replied smugly.

"But, no not but…. Arghhhhh…. you need humans around you, to stop you going too far, to…"

"Do I? How fascinating. Maybe that's the case, and I'll run with that idea. Why do I need _you _though?

"Doctor, I don't understand."

"You evidently find me disagreeable, you don't like what I do."

"Yes, er no" Clara whispered.

"Maybe I can find someone else who approves of my methods, of my modus operandi. Clara, nobody is forcing you to travel with me, when I drop you off, maybe it would be for the best if I find someone else to travel with me."

"No, that's not what I meant, I…" Clara stammered, tears in her eyes.

"You can go back to your dull, mundane human world. _Your_ Doctor will always be there for you in your mind. And frankly I've got work to do, tasks far more important than listening to your continuous whining! Those people, the Trylopians, I won't let them get away with it, they must be _destroyed_!"

"No!" exclaimed a distraught Clara as she ran to her room, slamming the door shut behind her and dragging a chair over to block it.

There she collapsed on her bed, and curled up a ball cried her eyes out, before eventually worn out, she fell asleep.

When Clara woke and looked up, she saw someone in front of her. Someone very familiar…

"You're me?"

"Well nearly. I'm a version of you, I'm Oswin Oswald."

"Er let me see, Oswin Oswald, from the Dalek Asylum."

"Don't remind me!"

"Nice, er dress."

"Thank you."

"But what are you doing here?"

"I think someone needs a chat."

"You think it'll help?"

"Take a deep breath Clara."

Clara took a deep breath.

"You're missing your Doctor aren't you?"

"Yes, so, so much."

"But why?"

"What do you mean?"

"He's older now isn't he?"

"Yes, my Doctor was all cute and boyish and funny and sweet and gangly."

"Ridiculous chin though!"

"Yes" Clara smiled a little. "Actually it's not the looks and age. I can live with that, he's a 2000 year old Time Lord after all. It's him, he's not the Doctor I knew, he's horrible!"

Clara broke down in tears again, before composing herself and continuing.

"He's different, so, so different, he's angry and vengeful, and wants to destroy things, there's no warmth any more, no love. I always used to love being with the Doctor, the way he would hold my hand and stroke my face, and make me feel safe and secure. And yes I was a bit in love with him. Now I feel terrified of him, I've got to get away."

"What leave him, just like that?"

"Yes" Clara whimpered back.

"So you were happy to sacrifice your life to save him, jumping into his timestream, but now he's a bit nasty, you want out?"

"That was a different Doctor though."

"Maybe he'll change?"

"Will he? Why?"

"Perhaps because you'll help him change. Regeneration is a funny business, he might be a bit unstable now, but maybe he'll mellow. He needs you Clara to show him how to react, how to be a Doctor."

"But how? He doesn't care what I say; he's not interested in me any more!"

"It'll take time, and I'm afraid you won't be able to boss this Doctor around like you did with chinboy, as he was a bit obsessed with you. Indeed he fancied you, though that might have been because of all the brilliant versions of you he'd met previously!"

Oswin smiled smugly before continuing.

"Give him a chance Clara. He can't have changed that much, deep down he'll still be the same person who relied on you and trusted you so much. Clara, underneath the snarling exterior, he's still the Doctor, please hang in there, I'm sure you can make it work."

"I guess you're right. It'll be hard though."

"Oh, very hard, but worth the effort. Now if you excuse me, I've got a soufflé to make."

Oswin vanished.

Soon afterwards Clara woke up properly, rather confused. It had all been a dream, but one which seemed too structured to be a normal dream, as if someone was trying to tell her something. Could she still trust the Doctor? Was it worth the pain?

Oswin was right, she had to give it another go. Clara moved the chair away from the door, exited her room and slowly walked back to the console room. The Doctor heard her approaching and turned around to face her with a sombre face.

"Clara."

"Doctor."

"I've landed back in London, but please listen to me before you go, as after what I said earlier, I will understand if you never want to come back."

"Ok."

"Clara, I'm sorry for being so nasty to you, I've had time to think, and you were right."

"I was?"

"I was all ready to wipe out the Trylopians, then I thought about what you had been trying to say to me, and stopped. It started to come back to me, what makes me the Doctor."

"And?"

"I let them escape, I gave them a final warning, a pretty strong and blunt final warning I'd admit, but I gave them a chance to redeem themselves, a chance of a fresh start which I think they'll take."

"Thank you Doctor."

"No. Thank you Clara Oswald. I was angry and bitter, and in my rage would have done something terrible."

The Doctor paused before continuing.

"I am afraid I'm not the Doctor you once knew, I have a different purpose in life."

"In what way?"

"After the Time War when all the Time Lords were wiped out, I was distraught and didn't know what to do. I decided then that my only hope was to stay on Earth and blend in a bit, become more human, seeing that they were the people I would be spending most of my time with. Now though, things are different. Gallifrey is safe, and the Time Lords, my people are out there somewhere. I've no need to pretend to be human now."

"So you won't be needing us any more?"

"Clara, don't worry Earth is still very important to me, I'll still be here to protect it, but I've no need to pretend, to blend in, to put up with a lot of the human nonsense!"

"And what about me? Am I full of nonsense too?"

"No, never. I know it didn't sound like it earlier, but I really respect you Clara, you're so important and precious to me. I may not be your Doctor any more…"

"Don't say that."

The Doctor laughed.

"Look at me, all old and wrinkled."

"Quite distinguished actually. Not bad looking, and no big chin!"

"True, one change for the better, but I remember when I was him, the way you looked at me. I know I'm not like that any more. And I guess I'm angrier and more alien to you."

"Maybe a touch."

"Clara, I was horrible to you earlier on. You, you are the one human I rely on, and admire so so much, please forgive me. "

"Doctor."

"I'd entirely understand if you want to leave now, but Clara please stay with me. There are so many exciting things to see out there, and you and me, we make a good team don't we."

"Yes" Clara smiled, her eyes moist with emotion.

"You were right, I need humans to control my excesses, to remind me what being a Doctor is, and I can think of nobody better than you. So what do you say? Please give me another chance."

"Agreed."

"Oh, thank you Clara. I will do everything to make it work, I promise."

"Doctor, I too have had time to think things over, and yes I think we can make it work. Of course I miss your old version, no point lying about it, but you're still the Doctor, someone who's amazing and inspirational. I guess I won't be able to control you like I did your previous version though."

"Definitely not!" the Doctor smiled.

"But I'm sure I'll find ways of getting my point over, to make sure that you stay true to yourself, that you remain the Doctor."

"Of that I have no doubt!"

The Doctor and Clara shook hands.

"We're outside your home now. Same time next week?"

"Definitely!"

Clara walked off the TARDIS, and returned to her flat. There she lay down on the bed. It had been a long day, and her heart ached for her Doctor with his silly grin and big, sad eyes, but there was a new Doctor now, one who needed her. And how could she give up on that life?

Clara's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her doorbell.

She got up and answered the door. It was the Doctor.

"Emergency, the Eiffel Tower has vanished, we need to investigate as nobody knows what's going on!"

"Give me five minutes."

Clara returned inside to grab her stuff. Yes, how could she give up on that life!

* * *

**It will be fascinating to see how 12 and Clara get on, and how Clara learns to cope with a new Doctor, and the loss of 'her' Doctor. Roll on the 23rd August!**

**Who better to help Clara cope with the change than one of her fragments :-)**


End file.
